Four Ways to Pray for Our Nation Ahead of the Election

We are now less than 50 days out from the next US election, and look, you don’t need me to tell you this… things are tense. If 2020 hadn’t handed us enough already, now we have to vote in an election that, one way or another, stands to alter the course of our nation’s history. Whatever your political convictions are, you know the stakes are high.

For believers, I say with confidence that there’s one thing we should be doing above all else. Before we post an article or meme on Facebook, before we put one sign in our yard, before we discuss or even debate with a single person, before we read one news story… we must pray. I believe to my core that our call to pray has rarely been more urgent than it is now.

It’s as simple as this: “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 NLT

To pray is the directive, but this single verse is packed with words that also tell us how we should be praying in these days ahead of the election, and I believe it highlights 4 key prayers for this time. 

I’ve also asked someone to contribute some additional thoughts on prayer during this time. She’s not only my older sister, Stefanie Schindler, she’s also an intercessor who has spent the past 5 years deeply involved with prayer ministries and praying very specifically over our nation. She has invaluable insight on how we can seek God’s heart on behalf of our country.

1. PRAY FOR HUMILITY

“... if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves…” It’s right there in plain language, and couldn’t be any clearer. What does God say we should do before prayer is even mentioned? Seek humility. And if I’m being really honest, of all the things we should be praying for right now, I suspect this will be among the most difficult. Humility doesn’t come easily, probably now more than ever. We’re armed with information, we’ve got memes and we’re not afraid to use them, we’ve got a hair trigger on social media, and as our nation has become more and more divided, we’ve retreated ever further into our corners, steadfast in our belief in the inherent rightness of our positions and beliefs.

So friends, I say this with love, you are not always right. I’m certainly not. Our views and perspectives are so painfully limited, and I believe there is so much God wants to do in and for our nation, but as He clearly states, we must first humble ourselves. Pray for God to show you what humility means in this time, pray that He will show you where pride is clouding your vision, and do this before you ask for anything else. 

In 2016 when God led me into deep intercession for our nation, He first required one thing of me. He asked me to lay down all of my opinions. He told me very specifically “you can not understand what is happening in the nation through a political lens.”  Like most Americans, I had my opinions on almost everything occurring in the news. If I was to truly pray and understand the heart of God for this land, He demanded of me to humble all of those opinions before Him and receive His heart for all of it. It was not an easy journey and truly one I am still on. However, I can say with certainty that as I offered up my thoughts to Him, my heart dramatically shifted. His heart for this land and the people living in it replaced what I had cultivated through my own pride. Humility truly is the key to overcoming the prideful political spirit that is rapidly trying to overtake our nation. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

2. PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT AND TRUTH

“… and seek my face…” Seeking truth has rarely been more important than it is right now, in this moment. So what a convenient time it is to be living in the era of fake news. We use this phrase both seriously and in jest, but at its core is the idea that we’re living under a continual onslaught of information, and discerning what’s true from what’s not is more challenging than ever. 

Pray that God will help us discern the truth, because truth is under attack. Even in popular culture, commonly used phrases like “speak your truth” have introduced a mainstream idea that truth can and should be subjectivized on an individual basis. So take a moment to remember this… truth is an absolute and it comes from God. When we look to him, when we seek His face, there and only there do we find truth. Pray that God will help you discern not only what is factual from what is not, but also that He’ll help you recognize what is based in His truth and what is not. 

Daily communion with God through prayer and the reading of His Word is absolutely crucial in this season. There are days when I scroll through too much social media or read too many news articles, and I can feel myself get pulled out of alignment with what God has been speaking to me about what is really occurring in the nation. However, when I choose to tune everything else out and genuinely seek His face, He speaks clearly. It’s in those moments that I can feel the peace flood back into my soul, and adjustment of my heart into an aligned place with Him and His Truth. Friends, we must abide here in this place even if it means releasing all other sources of information. It’s through Him and Him alone we will gain true understanding of what we are seeing unfold before our eyes. 

3. PRAY FOR GOD’S JUSTICE

“... I will hear from heaven...” Justice is likely to be a touchy subject for some time. People in our nation have been seeking, calling for, and praying for justice for some time. A lot of us want different kinds of justice, we want to see different people brought to justice, and we want them brought to justice for different reasons. My fear is that, in many cases, our hearts have become more motivated by vengeance than justice. Believe me, I say this to myself as much as anyone else.

Wanting justice is good and right and we should seek and promote justice at every turn. Wanting vengeance is something different entirely. Wanting to see someone go down in court, wanting to see someone imprisoned, even wanting to see one political “side” proven wrong in a big way — this is a desire more often rooted in vengeance than justice. 

The Bible tells us vengeance is Gods, and in this time, justice is God’s. I believe strongly that we will see some people brought to legal justice in the coming years, but what we should be praying for during this time is that God will have His justice, not that He will give us our vengeance. Trust me, I have to call myself out on this continually lately. I hope you’ll challenge yourself in the same way. God tells us to act justly but also to love mercy.

The Bible tells us the two foundations of God’s throne are Righteousness and Justice. Why then do we believe we must get justice for ourselves? What lacks when man seeks his own justice is usually wisdom and concern for all parties involved. Man, without submission to the Great Judge of the universe, will only perpetuate the pain of injustice to someone else. 

During the Revolutionary War, the founders of our nation found themselves lacking justice from Britain. Britain was far too great and powerful an enemy to overcome in their own strength. So “An Appeal to Heaven” campaign was launched by our praying forefathers who recognized that without intervention from the hand of the Righteous Judge, our land would surely lose its fight for freedom. God responded and provided miracle after miracle during the war to secure our freedom for generations to come. Had our forefathers not been on their faces before God seeking His justice, our nation would likely look very different today. 

4. PRAY FOR HEALING

“... and restore their land…” There are few things I pray for right now that hit my heart quite as hard as this one. More than anything I long for in our nation, I long for healing. I long for restoration with God and with each other.

The gap between right and left, red and blue, has become so wide that both sides have abandoned their willingness to seek understanding or recognize commonality, even humanity in each other. The other-ism we feel towards people with different political beliefs is killing us. Healing can’t and won’t come until we begin to reach across that gap, guided by both love and truth.

Beyond the division in our nation, there are people facing injustice and inequality who’s pain, hurting and resentment run deep. We’ve never seen a clearer example of that pain than we have over the past few months. Whatever your thoughts are on how that pain has manifested or been expressed, do not miss that the core of it is deep pain and frustration. 

God longs to bring healing to our nation, and we should share that longing and pray for Him to bring healing, restoration, and life-giving freedom to our nation and all of its people.  

“America’s best days are ahead of her”. These are the words God spoke to my husband and me in 2014 that shifted our hearts and brought fresh hope for this land. Like many Christians, I had believed the bad report about this nation that God was “done” with her. At the core of this belief was a lie that actually goes against the very God that we worship. I had forgotten that God is a merciful, faithful, covenant-keeping God who never breaks His promises.

What I did not realize at this point, was that God had made a covenant with the early settlers and founders of this nation. So in 2016 when God spoke to me to “remember the covenant”, I began searching out every bit of history I could surrounding this idea. Through a series of what could only be God-ordained connections, I discovered that the Mayflower Compact was a covenant written between the settlers of America and God. In the compact, they covenanted  to dedicate this new world to “the glory of God and the advancement of the Christian faith”. 

On November 11, 2020, we will celebrate 400 years since the signing of this compact. A significant number of years if you know Biblical Hebrew history and how long they waited to inherit their Promised Land. This anniversary also happens to be 8 days after our pivotal elections. 

I believe God is inviting the believers of this nation to remember that covenant. He has not forgotten, and He is planning a spectacular and merciful restoration of the promises He spoke to our forefathers which will usher in a massive healing of this land.

 “Then it will happen on that day that the Lord will again acquire with His hand a second time the remnant of His people, who will remain”. Isaiah 11:11 

There’s not a lot that feels certain in 2020. We’re walking into the second half of this year battered and bruised, weary and footsore. And now, only two things feel certain:

Many of the days ahead are going to feel dark and difficult. 

And if we humble ourselves and pray, He will hear us, and He will usher us into the freedom of healing and hope.

The 7 Biggest Myths About Infertility

For years I shared on this blog about our struggle with infertility, and that’s because we went through it for years. It took us nearly 4 years to get pregnant with our daughter, and man, infertility is no joke. Those 4 years were a nearly constant roller coaster of emotions, hopes, disappointments, plans, new plans, shots, pills, sonograms, pregnancy tests… and the absolute hardest part of all of it, for me, was the first few months.

I am a planner. And if I’m being honest, I’m also a little bit of a control freak. If I can help it, I go into absolutely any situation with my eyes wide open, armed with information and a plan. Unprepared is a word that I don’t like to be a part of my vocabulary and I’m an over-thinker to my core. I over-think about my over-thinking. What I’m trying to say is, I’m not caught off guard by much in life.

And infertility absolutely knocked me on my ass (sorry Mom). I didn’t expect it. I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know what would happen or when. I didn’t know what to expect. And so every experience and every emotion for the next few months hit me like a baseball bat.

I didn’t have any control over this. *thwack*

I didn’t ever want this to be me. *thwack*

I didn’t know if it would ever happen for us. *thwack*

Grief. *thwack*

Fear. *thwack*

Anger. *thwack*

Sorrow. *thwack*

Inadequacy. *thwack*

You get the picture. But as I came out on the other side of those early months, a bright spot among so much darkness started to become clear. When I decided to share for the first time what we were going through, so many people started to reach out to me and share their history with infertility or that they were also in the throes of it. All these women, quietly struggling with one of the saddest things a person can go through.

Eventually, with some time and perspective, I realized that among the many good things that would come from this experience, one of them was the ability to help others know that they’re not alone, and hopefully, make this whole mess a little easier for them.

And that’s why, looking back, I want to share what I feel are some of the most common misconceptions and myths about dealing with infertility. And if you find yourself suddenly on this road, I hope they help you avoid a few of the *thwack*s.

1. I Have to Take All the Advice

Sister… you will get advice. All the advice ever in the history of advice. Everyone will tell you what worked for them, what they tried, what their cousin’s dental hygienist tried, what some woman on TV said she tried, what they read about in an article that their old coworker posted on Facebook.

And here’s what you should do with that advice… Be grateful that people care enough about what you’re going through to want to help.

Here’s what you absolutely do not have to do with that advice… take all of it and try all the things.

It can be overwhelming and frustrating to get so much well-meaning advice, some of which is often conflicting. But understand that you are the best judge of what is right for you, and you don’t have to do anything just because someone suggests it.

If something rings true to you or feels like something you’re interested in trying or pursuing, go nuts. What we ultimately tried that led to me getting pregnant was something someone shared with me and I’ll be grateful for it forever. But I also got lots of advice and suggestions along the way that I knew weren’t right for us. And that is okay.

And besides, learning to smile and thank people for their well-meaning advice while secretly planning to ignore it is GREAT practice for when you do become a new parent. Trust.

2. If It Worked for Someone Else, Then It Will Work For Me

Here’s the other thing that I think is important about advice, and this might not be easy to hear, but the sooner you hear it, the easier this will all be.

Just because it worked for someone else, or lots of other people, does not mean it will work for you.

It might, and that is wonderful. But there are enough opportunities for disappointment on this road, so don’t set yourself up for any more. I know how easy it is, when you’re looking for any thread of hope to which you can cling, to hear others’ success stories, and to believe that it will work for you too. I get it and I remember that despair like it was yesterday.

But here’s the thing I want to make sure you to remember. Every single person is so different. The series of events that leads to a woman getting pregnant is so unbelievably complex and when something isn’t going exactly right in that process, it could be any number of things.

It’s so tempting to rely on others’ successes for hope, but my friends, trust me, that’s a shaky hope. Trust the road that God has you on and be patient.

3. I Have to Try the Treatment My Doctor Discussed With Me

There are doctors and specialists who are well-trained to pinpoint what is going wrong and try to correct it or even work around it. They are wonderful and they are there to help. The doctor I was seeing when we got pregnant was a true Godsend and I feel certain that without him we would still be on this long and painful road.

But… one of the biggest things you should know is that you have options. There is a very typical path and typical fertility treatments that a lot of people follow when trying to get pregnant, and because they’re so prevalent, they can seem like the only options. They are not. If the most common treatments feel like the right path for you, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t feel like they’re right for you, then pursue another path.

You have to be your own advocate in this process. Ask questions. Ask more questions. Do your research and arm yourself with information. Get second opinions if you want to, and don’t feel bad about it. There are lots of fertility treatments with good success rates. Know your options.

4. I’m Not Normal / I’m Failing As a Woman

I gave this one two titles, but honestly I could have given it 17 because this same lie has a bunch of different ways of rearing its head, but trust me, it’s all the same lie — that because you aren’t able to pregnant, you’re not normal, not like everyone else, there’s something wrong with you, you’re failing as a woman, failing as a wife, unable to do one of the most basic things that God designed a woman’s body to do.

Oh, I struggled so much with this. Every time I thought it, the pain cut straight into me like a knife. If you’re in the thick of it, I wish I could just put my arms around you and hug you through it, because it hurts. It attacks your identity. You feel like you’re failing your duty as a woman, like you’re failing your husband, and like you’re just plain failing. The guilt and shame is real.

So hear me when I say this. You are made in God’s image, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your lady bits not working perfectly doesn’t say any more about the woman you are than it would if you dry skin or heartburn. Our human bodies are imperfect and sometimes things just don’t work exactly the way they’re supposed to.

So give yourself some grace. You are not failing.

5. Because Fertility Is Personal, I Should Keep It to Myself

Maybe it’s because the shame and guilt are so strong, but opening up about it is difficult. I never felt more vulnerable than when I shared that we were struggling to get pregnant. It is an intensely personal thing, and you don’t have to share it with anyone you don’t want to, but I am telling you right now… share it with someone.

Share it with close family and friends. Share it with a counselor or therapist. Share it with someone you know who is going or has gone through it. You can share it with a bunch of people, just a few people, or one person.

But whatever you do, don’t go through it alone. It is a desperately sad thing to be faced with, so find people who can offer you support through it.

6. I Don’t Know Anyone Else Going Through It

I was astounded to learn how many women I knew who were on the same path or had been on it. And knowing that I wasn’t alone was a game-changer. We had so many people loving us, praying with and for us, and offering us support in whatever way we needed it.

But the women who knew what it was like, the women who understood every last bit of the roller coaster… those were my women. My tribe. There is nothing like the support you get from people who KNOW.

It’s been estimated that around 10% of women experience infertility in some way. That is so. many. women. There are people around you who are struggling and who understand what you’re going through. And if you don’t know who those people are in your life or don’t know where to find them, then message me. You can be in my tribe. Trust me, it’s a good one.

7. If I Can’t Get Pregnant, I Should Adopt

This one is difficult and complex, so hear me out.

If you’re struggling to get pregnant, it’s very likely that at some point, someone is going to say to you, “Why don’t you just adopt?” And that suggestion can be really painful. No matter how well-intentioned, it can be loaded with guilt and shame and fear.

First, understand that it is okay to want a biological child. That is not selfish. Nearly every parent in history has wanted a child that shared their DNA, their characteristics, their traits, their appearance and personality. The suggestion to adopt can often feel like people are telling you to just give up on that dream, like it should be easy. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a biological child and continuing to try for one.

Second, adoption is an absolutely wonderful thing and I could not possibly support it more fully. There are children the world over who were born to mothers who were, for a multitude of reasons, unable to care for them. Bringing one of those children into your home and calling them your own is an incredibly selfless, noble and loving thing to do. I have endless admiration for my friends who have adopted or fostered, and I am so grateful that God brought their children to them in that way. It fills me with joy.

But… adoption also comes with many challenges. The decision to adopt a child has to feel like the right decision for you, and it has to be something you’re ready and willing to embark on. If you’re not able to conceive a biological child, and adoption feels like the right next step for you, that’s incredible. But if you’re not able to conceive and adoption doesn’t feel like the right thing for you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I have loved ones and friends whose families have come to them in all different ways… pregnancy, adoption, fostering or some combination of them. I also have friends who were unable to conceive and ultimately decided against pursuing a family in other ways. The plans that God has for you and your family are between you and Him.

But know this: The plan God has for your life is wonderful. Be patient with Him and be patient with yourself. Be patient with your body. It’s capable of something truly miraculous, and even when it feels like it can’t happen, it can. It can take time, but when it finally comes, in whatever way it comes, you will again remember that He works all things together for good.

And it bears repeating… if you’re struggling with infertility and would like help or just someone to talk to, please reach out to me. I’m always happy to talk with people about it and help in any way I can.

Losing the When-Then Mentality

Whenever a new year comes around, it’s always a great time for reflection - thinking about what we want for our lives, what we want to accomplish, the person we want to be, the goals we want to reach, and the dreams we want to pursue. Good for us, right?

But often, almost as soon as we start to think about these callings, our minds are flooded with reasons why it just won’t work, why you can’t do it, why it’s not realistic, why now isn’t the best time, why another time will be perfect.

I call this the “When-Then” mentality, and it typically goes something like this… “When X happens, then Y can happen.” You can probably fill in the blanks pretty easily.

When my kids are grown, then I can travel.

When I’ve saved more money, then I’ll start a business.

When I have more time, then I’ll write that book.

When work slows down…

When I lose weight…

Sounding familiar?

The problem, of course, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because that’s just how it works. Our minds are powerful things, and whatever we believe to be true usually has a way of being so. It doesn’t matter whether your dream is to own a business, become an active voice for a cause, travel the world, or to just become more organized or learn calligraphy. If you believe you can’t do it, you probably won’t… in fact, you probably won’t even try.

Look, I don’t mean to be hard on you. Because the truth is, we all know that our everyday lives can be formidable opponents to our calling and dreams. Trust me… I’m a mom who works full time. I get it. I get it so much. I have pushed things to the back burner with the best of them. I could back burner things in the olympics.

Pursuing Our Purpose

But each of us was created to fulfill a purpose, and no matter how much you push that purpose down or to the back burner, the deep longing never seems to quiet. And it becomes a cycle - the urge to pursue a passion becomes strong and then here come the reasons to not do it right now.

And that’s the thing about settling into the When/Then mentality. It is satan’s most successful tactic in our lives. I firmly believe that in the arsenal of tools he uses against us, getting us to waste time is often the most effective. When we waste time, our purpose is missed, little by little, a day at a time. And he uses it slyly, so he masks wasted time beneath the busyness of our everyday lives and makes it seem unavoidable. And because he makes the things we waste time with seem inherently good, he makes that wasted time feel noble.

Now, don’t mistake me, I’m not saying that raising your kids or having a job or whatever is keeping you from pursuing your passion AREN’T noble things. They absolutely are. The distinction I’m trying to make is that satan uses those things against us, and leads us to believe that if we are pursuing those things, we simply don’t have the time or ability to pursue anything else. He makes it increasingly easy for us to miss things God has for us by leading us to believe that God has only made a way for us to pursue one thing at a time.

Ditching the “When”

So what are we to do? How do we unstick ourselves from this when/then conundrum and start to pursue the dreams God has put in our hearts when our daily lives DO seem so packed?

What I’ve come to understand is that the best way to beat it is to forget for a bit about the “when” and start thinking about the “then”. Whatever your “then” is… whatever thing you’ve been putting on hold for another time because it seems unrealistic or out of reach… I’d be willing to bet that there is at least a small part of it that doesn’t depend on “when” at all.

Set Small Goals

So here’s my challenge to you:

Think about how you can change “then” to now. It could mean taking a big leap, but it absolutely doesn’t have to. It could mean carving out ten minutes each day or even each week to take a step toward something. Just one small step, one small thing you can do now.

If you can’t pick up and travel the world today because you don’t have the money or you’ve got small kids, then start by traveling someplace easier, cheaper or closer. Create travel and adventure where you are, even if for a day or afternoon.

If you’ve been holding off writing because you don’t have the time to dedicate to it, then commit to 10 minutes of writing a day or 30 minutes a week… whatever you can manage (something a friend recently challenged me to do, and here I am).

If you’ve been wanting to work with a non-profit or volunteer… carve out an hour a month to go volunteer, email or call them and find something they need that you can donate, or donate a skill you have where they may be short-handed.

Go Bigger

Once you’ve started to carve out time and commit to pursuing what you’ve had on hold, then double down on that plan. When you’ve shown yourself that it doesn’t take huge risks or leaps or sacrifices to pursue a dream, it becomes a lot easier to think of ways to keep pursuing them.

Create a longer-term plan for yourself, create a timeline if you want, and think about how you want to set bigger goals and pursue your passion and your purpose in bigger and bigger ways.

Whatever You Do… Start Now

You don’t have to wipe out your savings, quit your job, or sell your house. Life is real and it has real obligations and responsibilities. But you are a unique person created with a unique purpose. Don’t let the rush and stress of life take away from that purpose.

Whatever your “then” is, that dream you’ve had on hold for a “when”, find even the smallest way to pursue it… now.

Want to share your “then”? Comment and let me know how you’re planning to nix the “when”.

Starting Fresh

Blogging and writing is something I’ve wanted to get back to pretty much since the last time I posted here (hint, that was a long time ago), but with a career and a family, it’s not always been easy for me to dedicate the time to it. But now that’s changing. More on that soon.

All I wanted to do now is to declare myself officially back and wish you all a very happy 2019! And to remind you that every single day is a completely new opportunity, a completely blank slate, a chance to start, a chance to get it right, and another step closer to your purpose… and mine. But like I said… more on that soon.

2016 Family Photos

I was so excited to have our first family photos taken with Olivia this fall (would love to have had our pup Bailey in them as well, but she's not so good with new places, people, sights, sounds, smells, etc. you get the picture), and was so thrilled with how they captured our new little family. 

A huge thank you to Virginia Ann Photography for the gorgeous photos! Can't recommend her enough.